Today I'm sharing 6 trends everrrryoonnnne loves. But I don’t. I don’t. I actually kind of hate them. Personal problems, I’m sure. I’m eager to see what side you stand on. But let’s be honest, these comments may get a little heated and I’m here for it! So on that note, let’s just dive right in.
1. Arizona Birkenstocks
I’m just going to throw this first trend out there. The Arizona Birkenstocks. There I said it. Ya know… the cork bottom, thick double straps with the buckles. This is definitely going against popular trends & opinions, as every brand is coming out with their own Birkenstock version. From Target & Old Navy to Treasure & Bond and Marc Fisher. I know people back these hard. But they are NOT FOR ME! And quite frankly… I’ve never met a foot that it flatters. Including mine! My feet look like flippers in this style of shoe. These are a very casual shoe. And I’ve seen people wear them very casually, but I’ve also seen a lot of people pair them with dresses. It’s just not a look for me. Or a lot of people...
2. Mom Jeans (or Balloon Jeans)
How’s the temperature in the room right now? Are we ready for this next one? The 2nd trend is mom jeans. This includes balloon jeans and grandpa jeans. All 'dem jeans that… honestly, just don’t even have flattering names. I know mom jeans are super hot right now. Lot of people wearing them. I’m a mom, I should be wearing them. I like my grandpa… nodisrespect to him. But WOW! They are just the most unflattering jean! If you’re a mom with a full mom body, which I have, I can definitely find a more flattering style of denim. They do NOTHING for my booty, which I work very hard for. They do nothing for my front, which I work hard enough for. And listen, if you love them, WEAR THEM. ROCK THEM. They’re just a no for me. Who else feels this way?
3. Fitness Watches
I'm talking Fitbits, Garmins, even Apple watches. I totally get the appeal of tracking calories, steps and sleep. It’s super cool what technology can keep track of. But it drives me nuts when men and women who are in thousand dollar suits and $500 shoes roll up with a black plastic Fitbit on. And to be verrrry honest— This topic gets personal. My husband who dresses in a suit and has a great sense of style wears his darned plastic Fitbit every.single.day. I get riled up when we’re snuggling at night, he moves his arm around me and his "dork watch" lights up. Consider the mood killed. I know people love them. I don’t. That’s ok. My way is not always the right way. (I like to think it is.) You do you. Just don’t try to cuddle me with a Fitbit on.
4. Dragon Lady Fingernails
Number 4 is definitely trendy. I don’t know if it’s that controversial. I think a few of you might agree with me on this one. And that is Dragon Lady Fingernails. Some might know them as talon nails. But they are long, pointy, and SCARY. Oh, they’re scary. Definitely not practical. Everyone wears them— Kylie Jenner, Gwen Stefani, Rihanna. But let’s just talk practicality here… how are you texting your friends in these nails? Playing piano? Forget it! I wear contacts and have to reach in my eye twice a day and touch my eyeballs. I would literally poke my eyes out with these nails. Maybe once I get Lasik, I’ll go straight to a nail salon and get some stiletto nails. But as of now, I’m going to have to stick to my short gels.
5. Bermuda Shorts
The fifth trend is Bermuda shorts. Every couple years they make their way down the runway. And*IF* you’re 6’5, yeah, anything will look great on you. But bermuda shorts are the least flattering shorts on just about the rest of the population. They typically hit at a very unflattering part of women’s legs. And I GET that despite hot temps, a lot of women don’t want to wear short shorts… maybe you’re not comfortable with your legs or have clothing restrictions. BUT I can attest that Bermuda shorts are not your only option. I would wear a dress, a skirt, even full-length jeans ANY day over bermuda shorts. Once again… You dress as you want. You dress in whatever makes you comfortable. But if you think bermuda shorts are your only option and don’t like how they look on you, I don’t blame you. Switch things up this summer. Try a dress or cute skirt instead.
6. Cropped Everything
The last trend that everyone loves that I do not is CROPPED EVERYTHING— Sweaters and tops and cardigans. This trend takes us back to the 90s and early 2000s, when my tummy was suuuuuper tight and I would ROCK that trend. But now? I don’t want to pay $60 for half a shirt. Just give me a full shirt!